Santa Who?

Khanh Le '24, Contributor

How does Santa Claus hand out presents? That must be the question that every child asks during Christmas. Some might think Santa simply drops the presents right through the chimney, where they land perfectly right next to the Christmas tree. Others might think Santa Claus is actually our beloved parents. As a person who believes in holiday spirit, I 100% believe that Santa Claus hands out the presents himself.
So, how exactly does Santa Claus hand out presents? And how does no one manage to catch him in the act? One interesting fact is that Santa Claus is actually everywhere. Those people you pass by everyday, one of them might be Santa Claus.
In Vietnam, I have seen Santa Claus riding the motorbike, drinking a milkshake, and even speaking fluent Vietnamese. How is this possible? I don’t know how; maybe the Claus family originates from all around the globe.
Is there just one Santa Claus? The answer is yes. When you think of Santa Claus, chances are you always think of an old guy with a white beard and humongous belly. This is true, but I have seen different versions of Santa Claus.
Santa Claus with no beard, check; Santa Claus with a hammer, check; Santa Claus that is shorter than me, check. You might think all of these versions are multiple Santa Clauses, but it is just one Santa Claus who traveled for too long. He experienced many types of food and culture that makes him who he is on Christmas Eve.
How does Santa Claus know what you like for Christmas? As I said, Santa Claus is everywhere, so he can listen to your thoughts and feelings. Santa Claus can read your mind easily and accurately.
These are some ways I have seen Santa hand out presents. First, very obviously, is while face to face. Santa literally gives the present to you. Second, you have to perform this ritual in order to summon Santa Claus; hit your head into the wall three times while screaming your mom’s name ten times in order to summon Santa. This sounds crazy, but it is true.
Many people have tried this, and the success rate is around 100%. The last method, which is the most important one, is to dress yourself like Santa. Dressing yourself like Santa shows the respect and love you have for him. Santa can see you, and if he sees you dressing like him, he is going to be more than happy. As a result, he will grant all your wishes for that year.

One word to sum up the three ways Santa hands out presents is confidence. Confidence is the key to getting presents from Santa. In Vietnam, I grew up with people abandoning the idea of Santa Claus; but for me, Santa Claus will always be real no matter what.