If you don’t know it already, rumor has it that the nose of John Metcalf Taylor’s plaque is lucky. Every day, numerous students walk by and rub his nose so much that it has maintained its bronze luster. But in the times of COVID-19 and of everyone at school playing off their coughs as allergies, how lucky is it really?
To investigate, I decided to conduct a lab. Yes, a lab. I know what you’re thinking: who does extra work on top of the amount they already have at this school? Well, I am passionate about expos—I mean helping Loomis Chaffee in making a cleaner environment and preventing germs. The hand sanitizer dispensers in the halls can only do so much for our students.
For the lab, I had hoped to use a sterile cotton swab against a Petri dish, which would then be placed in an incubator to let the bacteria grow.
Sadly, the labs on campus did not realize the urgency of this very important information, so I decided to conduct my own lab with my own materials. To replace the cotton swab, I just used a Q-tip from my makeup bag, and instead of an incubator, I used my dorm’s microwave (hopefully no one was in the mood to make ramen). As for the Petri dish, I may or may not have stolen from one of the science labs in Clark. Who knows.
Okay, let’s look at our results.
Wow, look at all of that bacteria! So what does this mean? Well, let me tell you. In Image 1, the multiple dots are actually bacteria from the tears of students after hearing attendance would not be taken for one of the school meetings. The fuzzy circles in Image 1 (this can be backed up by multiple Google searches), I think, are probably a new undiscovered variant of the common cold. Crazy, right?
Now, for Image 2, you may be wondering what those flower-looking spots are. Well, I can confidently tell you that this is grease from students’ fingers after eating french fries from the Snug Grill.
Will this groundbreaking information change the ways of these nose-touching students within the Looms Chaffee community? Who knows. Now, it is up to you, dear reader, to decide how much luck one can acquire from touching the nose.
Your best bet is probably to avoid all of its germs. But hey, maybe if you aren’t ready to take that test in your CL course, risking getting a new variant of the common cold might not seem all that bad.