Return of the Ice Cream Machine: How This Changes Everything

Laura Phyu '25, Contributor

There’s nothing better than to see your fellow classmates’ faces light up as the ice cream machine in the dining hall gets filled up with scrumptious flavors. You can pick vanilla, chocolate, or chocolate and vanilla swirl. Too many options; how will you ever choose?
It is now a fact that the line for ice cream is longer than those horrendous lines to get your actual meal. Furthermore, in order to be more sustainable, Loomis Chaffee has given up on the plastic cups and went for an ice cream cone option instead. That was a wonderful investment: go Loomis!
With the ice cream machine returning, we can all agree that this changes everything.
First of all, it is a great incentive for students who have been having a bad day: your chemistry quiz didn’t go well, and you totally flunked your math test.
You feel like ripping your hair out of your skull and hibernating in your bed till December. But you remind yourself that, at the end of the day, you can go to dinner for an awesome cone of ice cream. What more could you possibly ask for?
Second, we all know that ice cream tastes delicious. Even on a chilly fall day or a freezing winter night, you can never turn down ice cream. This leads to the next point: why stress over your homework when you can have a bite of ice cream each minute? Walk to dinner, bring a mug or reusable cup, fill it up with ice cream, and put it in your freezer.
By the time study hall rolls around, you can bring your handy spoon and the mug of ice cream to your desk. Every time you get stuck on a math problem that makes you want to bang your head against a wall, get a hefty scoop of ice cream and relish the taste.
This will certainly make you much happier and put you in a good mood to get through the most stressful two hours of your day.
After careful research and intense discussions, we’ve come to the conclusion that this method will surely boost your grades. Therefore, ice cream equals better grades. How amazing!
Finally, what better gift to give to your loved ones, friends, and teachers than a cone of ice cream? When you see your awesome teacher walk by you in the dining hall, give them ice cream. You will certainly put a smile on their face.
This will make them like you better, and they might even change your grade to an A++ because of how thoughtful you were. In other words, bribe your teachers with ice cream—besides, it’s totally harmless. Ice cream is the basic foundation in a good student-teacher relationship.
In conclusion, the return of the ice cream machine will solve all your problems. You will get more motivated, your grades will soar, and your teachers will love you! The return of the ice cream machine is no doubt one of the best investments Loomis has ever made.