Satirical Headlines

Andrew Park '22, Mélange Editor

Breaking News: Breaking News market oversaturated with fake headlines, reporter claims

Breaking News: Buckets of 100% naturally sourced lava found to be extremely effective heat source in winter; expect to see a 50% drop in COVID-19 cases worldwide, experts say

Breaking News: “I am God,” claims local merchant; showing video evidence with tape recorder

Breaking News: Stash of nuts discovered on campus grounds; squirrels reported to have been stealing nuts in November to prepare for the coming winter

Breaking News: Local wig shop receives a generous donation of 38 pounds of human hair from St. Jude’s; proceeds to revitalize the town economy with a new line of children’s toys; “From children, for children,” says the founder.

Breaking News: “Are ya winnin’ son?” asks the father of a decorated military veteran, as he crashes his son’s wedding.