So You’re Coming Back To Campus

Lillian Clark '24, Contributor

Hear me and rejoice! We can come back to campus for the rest of the year! Due to the unpredictable nature of the COVID-19 pandemic, Loomis Chaffee has decided to add some serious new safety precautions.
Don’t get me wrong: the masks, social distancing, and abundance of handwashing is completely necessary. It’s just that there were just a few more things the school thought of while we were away and decided would help improve the safety of next term.
During Fall Term II, returning boarding students had been told to limit the number of items that they bring to school. But with our entire second semester remaining, the school is actually requiring that a few more items get crammed into your suitcase. After all, with our quarantine beginning the moment you finish unloading your stuff, safety is obviously at the top of Loomis Chaffee’s priority list.
We applaud everyone’s use of masks during Fall Term II, and though masks seem to be rather effective in curbing the spread, it has been decided that every student should start wearing a gas mask or a welding mask rather than simple cloth face shields. After all, not only are you protecting yourself from COVID-19, but you are also protecting your sensitive nose from your classmate’s fart. (Also, please note that everyone can hear the fart and we know who it is—In fact, I’d recommend just using the bathroom before class to save yourself from the embarrassment.)
Next, we must thank the teachers, students, and staff who cleaned all parts of the campus this year. To bolster our cleaning brigade, the school is requiring that all students who wish to come back to campus bring a minimum of twenty rolls of Lysol wipes which will be spread around campus.
In addition to the Lysol mandate, the school is asking that all students buy themselves extra toilet paper. The school has not wanted to admit to such a fault, but they are starting to run unfortunately low. So, they are calling on students to help resupply the dorms and other bathrooms around campus, as well as to use their stash as their personal supply for the year. We suggest you plan accordingly.
Now that we’ve mentioned everything that is your responsibility to bring, let’s touch on the things that you can totally leave up to the administration.
Let’s face it, you are going to get bored of only looking at your friends with masks on at some point. In a surprising move, Loomis has decided to replace every door on campus with glass so you can see and talk with people on the other side. This means that whoever is in their room can be seen without their mask! Whether it is worth the hassle of daily intense cleaning with Windex, however, is still up for debate, and there’s talk of abandoning the project before it begins. Oh well…