Life As A Day Student

Isabella Jiang '22, Contributor

It is a truth universally acknowledged that day students must be unlucky. We are forced to rise in the wee hours of the morning with the sun — whether we have class or not — and embark on our long tedious journeys. We battle throngs of sleep-deprived, coffee-demanding drivers for priority at that one red light that only turns green once a year.

After eventually escaping with a major headache and minor trauma, we are cursed with orange traffic cones and signs screaming, “Road Work Ahead” and “Fines Doubled.” Then, the 27-lane highways become packed with standstill Toyota SUVs that completely refuse to abide by the painted white lines that adorn the pavement.

At this point, we begin regretting our negligence of the diamond lane. By then, the sun decides to rise over the tree line and sit, glaring through our windshields, not from the east, but always from every direction we’re driving toward.

Now, there are two conditions in which we day students arrive on campus: either extremely early or barely on time. COVID-19 protocols, however, have now destroyed our old methodical schedules. The sleep-deprived drivers, infuriating traffic cones, and vengeful sun still continue to haunt us, but we are now refused the heated library we loved to hole ourselves in when we arrived at 6:00 a.m.

Ever wondered why you don’t see many day students on campus that early? It’s not that you don’t wake up before 8:25. Rather, we’re usually digging holes under buildings to access the heat. We aren’t allowed into the buildings, but no one said we aren’t allowed under. After all, in this day and age, we must embrace Darwin’s principle of “survival of the fittest.”

On the other hand, when we barely arrive on time, we demonstrate our superior athleticism with our ability to arrive to class within 10 seconds while simultaneously lugging 73 pound backpacks on our dummy thicc shoulders and carrying 5 extra bags in each arm: the epitome of talent. These bags, mind you, mustn’t be forgotten or abandoned, lest we risk losing one of our 7 different instruments.

Throughout most of the day, we freeload off of the library’s heating system (inside, this time), sitting at the long tables that place us so far apart from one another that we are forced to experience the side-effects of our deteriorating, nonexistent social lives.

However, our backs have begun to develop various degrees of kyphosis as couches are now far and few in between, and computer screens have become a necessity. When the time for sports comes around, we always line up civilly in an orderly fashion, following all COVID protocols and desperately cramming ourselves into the small three-stalled bathroom to change. After all, tardiness is never an option, and once again, we live by Darwin’s ideal.

In the end, if we’re lucky enough, our parents might remember to pick us up before 6:30 p.m., but if not…that’s okay. We only occasionally trek the 17 miles home by foot.