Summer Social Distancing

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Julie Chung

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Will Howley, Contributor

Summer Activities Amid Coronavirus
With the presence of the COVID-19 pandemic and social distancing, this summer is certainly going to be unforgettable. But just because the world is on lockdown, doesn’t mean you can’t have that big summer blowout you were planning. Here are 10 summer celebrations that completely adhere to social distancing.

Vacation to Antarctica
According to the most recent data, Antarctica is the only continent on Earth that does not have a single case of the coronavirus. So why not take a visit? You can see some cool glaciers, go ice fishing, and maybe even make friends with a polar bear. Sure, it’s actually winter in Antarctica and that’s not exactly prime time, but hey, at least you don’t have to practice social distancing.

S’mores with Six-foot Poles
There is nothing in this world—not even a pandemic—that could stop us from consuming everyone’s favorite summer treat: s’mores. But instead of everyone cramming by the fire to roast marshmallows, try using six-foot poles. This way, you can measure the necessary distance between you and your friends AND stay a safe distance from the fire. How responsible.

Swimming…With a Little Extra Chlorine
Pools are known to be a cesspool for infectious diseases, but unless you are lucky enough to live near a warm-enough body of water, they are sometimes our only option to go for a swim. So this summer, there is no need to compromise cooling off after a hot day—just add a little bit more chlorine. Sure, this could potentially be dangerous, and your chemistry teacher might be very disappointed, but it’s worth a try.

Build a Sand Castle Barrier at the Beach
Beach days are a classic summer activity. However, beaches tend to get very crowded. So, in order to abide by social distancing, try creating a sand castle barrier around your established area. And, as a social experiment, you can gradually increase the size of your sectioned area and see how long it takes for people to start getting irritated.

BYOE Barbecue
It doesn’t get more summer than a good barbecue. So, if you can’t go a summer without plaid tablecloths and the smell of grills and screaming children, try a BYOE (Bring Your Own Everything) barbecue. Compete with your friends to see who can bring the most elaborate assortment of bbq food, drinks, and backyard games…and then watch everyone wish they could have some of that freshly-squeezed lemonade you made for just yourself.

Camping (but in Separate Tents)
Judging by the ironically large number of people who have been utilizing local parks and other public outdoor areas, we all seem to have developed a new appreciation for nature, and what better way to embrace the outdoors than camping? Unfortunately, camping usually entails several people in an enclosed space, so this year, try camping with your friends in separate tents. Have fun whisper-screaming your deep late-night conversations and trying to toss your cards while playing Go Fish.

Separate-sidewalk Bike Ride
Bike rides are a great way to be active on a nice summer day. So this summer, go for a bike ride with a friend on opposite sides of the sidewalk. Ask your friend to repeat what they said 3 times, and then on the fourth, just laugh and pretend like you heard them.

Look for Lost Treasure
The recent popularity of the Netflix show Outer Banks raises the question: is there $400 million worth of gold buried near you? Probably not, but it’s worth a shot. So, why not spend your summer driving around in a Scooby doo-like Van in hopes of finding treasure that you could really use to combat your increasing online shopping bill. Oh, and while you’re at it, why not have everyone refer to you with the first initial of your last name. That won’t be annoying at all…

Hang Out in Human Hamster Balls
We used to look at inflatable human hamster balls (as one does) and see a simple, mildly amusing form of entertainment. Now, we see a potentially life-saving device. Thus, we recommend you invest in a human hamster ball (https://www.amazon.com/Qiyun-Inflatable-Zorbing-Human-Hamster/dp/B0181XUVG0). From there, you can pretty much do whatever you want and throw the rules of social distancing right out the window. Seriously, why haven’t more people been doing this?

Lemonade Stand for Bleach
There’s nothing like guilting strangers into buying a refreshing 5 ounce cup of store-bought lemonade for an incredibly marked-up price. But this summer, why not sell people what they really want during these times: bleach… To disinfect your home, I mean.. Don’t drink it. Please.