Inconceivable! Club Basketball Lost to Faculty


Photo Credit: Ms. Hsieh

On a warm February evening, there was a lukewarm clash in the Olcott Gymnasium between the Club Basketball Team and a ragtag team of faculties. The students may have the fire of youth, but the teachers have quizzes, lectures, homework, problem sets, exams, grades and various other academic torture tools at their disposal. Sharpened by their hunger, for both wins and actual food not cooked by Flik, the teachers defeated the students 31 to 29.

There was great chemistry on the court. Astutely remarked by Jake Glezen, who has a bird’s eye’s view of the game due to his height, Arman was “not only a leader for the student team but he just got buckets.” The students struggled valiantly, but they were no match for the faculties. The Batch Brothers, Mr. Sainz and Mr. Fleming, was reported to score spectacularly with assists from each other. Mr. Fleming may be handicapped in communication by his fluency in a dead, useless language, but Mr. Sainz was able to carry through. As a mathematician, he was able to “solve the problem of the two three zone,” and that there “ain’t no stopping us.”

The star of the show, Mr. Dial, was an absolute juggernaut upon the court. He looks like a human tank, and he plays like one. On defense, he creates impassable zones around himself, but only if he can get back to defense in time. On offense, Mr. Dial deploys beneath the basket and easily dominates the rebound and provides temporary ball storage for his teammates. As a spectating student remarked, “nobody wanted to go into the paint when he was in there,” Mr. Dial shattered the fighting spirit of the students. Not only the students fear him, but the faculties also feel his commanding aura. Mr. Cunningham commented, “I think the faculty was a little tired, a lot of old bodies out there and I think they got tired fast,” while glancing at Mr. Dial. But with a glare from Mr. Dial, he added, “Dial was a stud. He was a brick wall on defense and a smart player on offense. He’s a monster inside.”

It is impressive that the students scored as many as 29 points, especially after only daily training against an unprepared and out of shape faculty team. I propose that the faculty team replaces club basketball team, as they clearly has hidden talent that could be developed with daily training.

Written by: Tommy Shi ’18 (Contributor)